10/16/2006 08:20:00 AM|W|P|Chowie|W|P|Thanks for your positive vibes folks. But enough about such grey matters. On to the important things in life, such as the deconstructing of cross-cultural dominant paridigms in re: an Asian hip hop "artist" dressed as Elvis Presley.
Ladies, gentlemen, and Matt. It is my distinct pleasure to introduce to you...
Y 2 Khai...
Wow, indeed.
*thanks to the Unsinkable Bill Vanderkooi, disgraced former curator of the No Refunds museum, for bringing this dude to my attention long ago. Werd.|W|P|116100499541128334|W|P|Like Wow|W|P|chowie@norefundstheatre.com10/16/2006 10:46:42 PM|W|P|MD|W|P|messed up10/21/2006 12:16:03 AM|W|P|Shinobi-wan|W|P|...like...wow...?10/10/2006 09:46:00 AM|W|P|Chowie|W|P|Maybe you missed the Harvard IgNobels awards - so I send you reference to one I thought noteworthy. Among the winners was Francis M. Fesmire, MD for his paper on "Termination of Intractable Hiccups With Digtal Rectal Massage." I wondered if it could double as a prostate exam also. The wonders of modern medicine are truly the gift of God.
This has been a moment with Papa Howie. Happy Tuesday.|W|P|116049166281574385|W|P|A Medical Breakthrough from Papa Howie|W|P|chowie@norefundstheatre.com10/10/2006 01:33:35 PM|W|P|MD|W|P|Hey kids, go watch Chad Vs Wong at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEDdzN52hEw10/08/2006 02:14:00 AM|W|P|Gabe|W|P|Hey, I'm not Gabe, my name is Reggie. I was held captive with him at the same underground prison. He and I planned an elaborate prison break for several weeks, and he gave me this tape to post in the event of our seperation during the escape. Well, we were seperated, and now I'm posting this tape for his friends and loved ones. I believe it might have some clues in it about his current whereabouts.
anyway, here it is, the secret video: The True Story of King Kong:
-Reggie|W|P|116029198954717763|W|P|STORYTIME|W|P|gllanas@gmail.com10/08/2006 02:39:03 AM|W|P|Shinobi-wan|W|P|WOW! technoligy has finnaly been wasted...;)10/08/2006 07:43:37 PM|W|P|Gabe|W|P|i see that spell checking technology has not been wasted on you.10/09/2006 10:43:16 PM|W|P|Gabe|W|P|chad, did i hurt your feelings? i'm sorry. now it might be hard for you to do kung fu with all those tears in your eyes.
mercy is for the weak.10/10/2006 01:21:34 PM|W|P|Matty Boom Boom|W|P|Did Strong Bad Narrate that? Because I think he did. It sounded too nefarious to be Gabe.10/01/2006 11:47:00 PM|W|P|Matty Boom Boom|W|P|
We here at No Refunds are known and loved for being the Old Country Buffet of theatrical amazingitude. From Cosby sweaters to Zombie fluids, to some guy dressed up like Mario jumping on portabellas and playing the accordian, we've got what you need.
One area we specialize in especially, however, is Kung Fu Theater. So it's only natural that when the Diamond National Martial Arts competition comes to our hometown, we step up and represent. Prepare to meet our handpicked, hand-crafted, hand holding crack team of mankillers. Chosen from the best of the best of the people who showed up and were willing to pay their own entry fees, we bring you the official No Refunds envoys to the world of lesser martial artists:
The No Refunds Rowdy Owlbears!
Michelle "Fists of Foxy" Dickinson, PHD
Styles: Tae Kwon Do, Brazilian Jiujutsu, Emasculation
Divisions: fighting, motorcycles
Signature Techniques: "The Endless Round Kick," Freakishly Unnatural Flexibility, Wheelies
Likes: Trampolines, Dalmations
Dislikes: Carbs, Weakness, Man U
Chad "Plus 5 Constitution" Gallagher
Style: Country Boy Kung Fu
Divisions: Traditional Forms, Hard Rockin
Signature Techniques: Iron Head, Hairy Back, Jedi Mind Trick
THAC0: 9
Save vs Poison: 12
Class Based Ability Modifiers: +2 strength, +3 dexterity, -4 Charisma
Dr. Allen "Petunia" Wong
Styles: Drunken Fist, Drunken feet, Drunken Mouth, Lazy Eye
Divisons: Traditional forms, Traditional Weapons, Fighting
Signature Techniques: Great Leg of Conquering Life, Tiger Uppercut, Face of Twelve Uglies
Glucose: 12%
Animal by-products:87%
Whuppass: 110%
Chrisopher J "Chowie" Howie
Styles: Running, Crying, Flailing
Divisions: Cheerleading, Bench and Gymbag supervision,
Signature Techniques: Piercing Elbows, "Brown Breath of the Deadly Colon"
Favorite Food: Freedom Fries, Apple Pie, New Coke
Favorite New Kid: Jordan
Favorite Suffix: -istan
Matthew "Matty Boom Boom" Dawson
Styles: Flying Burrito Fist, Yomamajitsu
Divisions: Towel Management, Musical Theater
Signature Techniques: General Cho's Chicken, Five Finger Discount
Tractor Pulls witnessed: 2
Tractor Pulls participated in: 1
Years with a Mullet: 7th - 9th Grade
Come witness the devastation at the St Paul River Center, Oct 6-7 and either sit at the back or wear old clothes because folks up front will have their front sides splattered with the organs of our opponents.
To learn more about the Diamond Natls, go to http://www.diamondnationals.com/
To learn more about Owlbears, go ask your mom.
GO TEAM!|W|P|115976917398378745|W|P|Team: Owlbear!|W|P|theeoriginalmatt@yahoo.com10/02/2006 08:26:56 AM|W|P|Chowie|W|P|Hey Matty, tell 'em how you selected the Rowdy Owlbear to be the No Refunds Mascot!10/02/2006 09:57:03 AM|W|P|P|W|P|Yee Haw!
Kick some ass, campers!10/02/2006 12:04:43 PM|W|P|Matty Boom Boom|W|P|I was speaking to a friend of mine who has a friend in a band named Free Grandma. And they had written a song titled: Owlbears, "blind but fiesty"
the rest is history10/03/2006 04:40:11 PM|W|P|Shinobi-wan|W|P|brilliant!10/14/2006 07:57:14 PM|W|P|MD|W|P|You guys are crazy, but I love you all ;)
We here at No Refunds are known and loved for being the Old Country Buffet of theatrical amazingitude. From Cosby sweaters to Zombie fluids, to some guy dressed up like Mario jumping on portabellas and playing the accordian, we've got what you need.
One area we specialize in especially, however, is Kung Fu Theater. So it's only natural that when the Diamond National Martial Arts competition comes to our hometown, we step up and represent. Prepare to meet our handpicked, hand-crafted, hand holding crack team of mankillers. Chosen from the best of the best of the people who showed up and were willing to pay their own entry fees, we bring you the official No Refunds envoys to the world of lesser martial artists:
The No Refunds Rowdy Owlbears!
Michelle "Fists of Foxy" Dickinson, PHD
Styles: Tae Kwon Do, Brazilian Jiujutsu, Emasculation
Divisions: fighting, motorcycles
Signature Techniques: "The Endless Round Kick," Freakishly Unnatural Flexibility, Wheelies
Likes: Trampolines, Dalmations
Dislikes: Carbs, Weakness, Man U
Chad "Plus 5 Constitution" Gallagher
Style: Country Boy Kung Fu
Divisions: Traditional Forms, Hard Rockin
Signature Techniques: Iron Head, Hairy Back, Jedi Mind Trick
THAC0: 9
Save vs Poison: 12
Class Based Ability Modifiers: +2 strength, +3 dexterity, -4 Charisma
Dr. Allen "Petunia" Wong
Styles: Drunken Fist, Drunken feet, Drunken Mouth, Lazy Eye
Divisons: Traditional forms, Traditional Weapons, Fighting
Signature Techniques: Great Leg of Conquering Life, Tiger Uppercut, Face of Twelve Uglies
Glucose: 12%
Animal by-products:87%
Whuppass: 110%
Chrisopher J "Chowie" Howie
Styles: Running, Crying, Flailing
Divisions: Cheerleading, Bench and Gymbag supervision,
Signature Techniques: Piercing Elbows, "Brown Breath of the Deadly Colon"
Favorite Food: Freedom Fries, Apple Pie, New Coke
Favorite New Kid: Jordan
Favorite Suffix: -istan
Matthew "Matty Boom Boom" Dawson
Styles: Flying Burrito Fist, Yomamajitsu
Divisions: Towel Management, Musical Theater
Signature Techniques: General Cho's Chicken, Five Finger Discount
Tractor Pulls witnessed: 2
Tractor Pulls participated in: 1
Years with a Mullet: 7th - 9th Grade
Come witness the devastation at the St Paul River Center, Oct 6-7 and either sit at the back or wear old clothes because folks up front will have their front sides splattered with the organs of our opponents.
To learn more about the Diamond Natls, go to http://www.diamondnationals.com/
To learn more about Owlbears, go ask your mom.
GO TEAM!|W|P|115976917398378745|W|P|Team: Owlbear!|W|P|theeoriginalmatt@yahoo.com